The Pep Talk I Need To Have With Myself…

Hey me, 
So we need a little chat. You need to calm down. Stop stressing. The fact that you did you washing today or tomorrow, or whether the shopping comes on a sunday or monday, don’t really matter. Chill. Know that the washing and the shopping will get done and spend the time worrying instead thinking of yourself. Get back to the times where you spent the day reading a book – and not because you’re told to but because you brought a book on impulse because it had a pretty cover and is now sitting on your desk. Go and buy chocolate from the corner shop, don’t worry about the calories, you’ll walk them off tomorrow. Stop worrying about money, you worked it out yesterday, and you’re going to be fine until christmas, so theres no point in checking again today. Don’t worry about playing music because you don’t think your flat mates are going to appreciate your music taste – who cares if they like country or not?! 

Remember that the next years of your life are supposed to be your best, so stop worrying about the things that you don’t really need to be worried about! If you really want to worry, worry about the fact that you need a word that rhymes with ‘knight’ for your assessments thats due next week – now THAT is worth worrying about!! 

Love me x 

Days Three To Six, Im Sorry I am Terrible At These Things!!

Day Three: You’re Top 5 Pet Peeves.

In no particular order – 1) I cannot stand when people do not use your/you’re correctly – It really grates on me! 2) I dislike people who leave the restroom without washing their hands – Its just gross! 3) Commercials that take forever – Why must you stop an amazing show just to tell me that ‘asda’ have an offer this week? I don’t even shop there! 4) People who constantly like to invade my personal space! 5) People who do not use manners – I’m sorry but I did not hold the door open for you for my own benefit!! 

Day Four: Your View On Religion.

I don’t really have a view as i’m not religious myself, however that is not to say I do not respect the people that do. If you want to believe in something thats great and if I don’t share that view then who cares, I’m not going to make an assumption on you before I know you based on who or what you do or do not believe in. However that being said, I do not like it when said people try to ‘shove’ that religion on you. If you believe it thats fantastic, and I understand that you only want people to share your views but when you stop me on the street and I say I do not have time to talk, it really means I cannot be bothered to talk to someone who is going to try to pressure me into seeing the world as they do. While I realise I am accepting a very wide stereotype and not all religious people are like this, I view the world how I do and you do as you do, end of story. 

Day Five: Your Favourite Comfort Foods And Why?

Im not a massive lover of chocolate, but since being at uni whenever i’ve been down and I have the munchies I always go for a Galaxy Caramel because it reminds me of home. I don’t actually snack a lot, but when I do, its usually on strawberries or granola and yoghurt because it tastes sooooo good! 

Day Six: You Zodiac Sign And If You Think It Fits Your Personality. 

Im a Libra and I read what my horoscope means on this site. I am very indecisive and have trouble making the simplest decisions all the time, I am often said to be the level headed one in a discussion or argument, I am also very artistic. Although the one thing it said that I didn’t agree with was that Libra’s are rude, I don’t think i’m rude, or if I am its usually unintentional. 

Day Two Of The Blog Challenge…

Day two: Where you’d like to be in ten years?

In ten years, I’d ideally love to be in America! It’s always been a life long dream of mine to live in America and am hoping to move out there relatively soon after I finish my uni degree, unless I decide to go postgrad. However, I’m not entirely sure what i’m going to be doing there. I really admire the people that know exactly what they want to do and know exactly how to get it. But, i’m not like that, i’ve wanted to be everything in the book; teacher, forensic scientist, surgeon, homicide detective, publisher, magazine editor. The last two are probably what pushed me to study English Lit and Creative Writing, but at the end of my degree, I have no idea how i’m going to use it or what I want to use it for. All I know is that i’d quite like to go adventuring ‘in the great wide somewhere, I want it more than I can tell’ and that somewhere just so happens to be warm and sunny!

Homesickness

Homesickness is like a disease.
Look it up and you’ll see a face like mine,
Broken and unsure,
Alone and at this moment unhappy.
It creeps up on you,
Follows you around.
Only showing its face when you realize,
You have to make tea for yourself,
When you realize you’ve cooked too much pasta for one person,
When you realize that if you want a chat,
You have to hunt for an ear.
Things that were there before,
Aren’t any more.
Things you took for granted,
Are suddenly gone,
And you’re not entirely sure when they’ll come back.
I’d wanted to start this new chapter in my life.
Ever since I could remember,
“What do you wanna be when you grow up?”
I’d never have an answer,
But I knew this is where I wanted to be.
I guess at the time,
I just didn’t quite grasp the concept that,
You can’t take your mum with you,
Or that dad wouldn’t be around to get rid of the spiders anymore.
I was a big girl now,
I had to get rid of that spider myself.
But regardless of that fact that I did,
In that moment there was nothing I wanted to do more,
Than call my dad and have him make fun of me for being so scared.
I miss that,
And I miss them.
More that I thought I would.
I’ve never been one to miss home,
Moving from mum to dads and back,
Had made it easy for me to adapt.
But being somewhere further than just around the corner,
Was starting to kill me.
There were no more ‘I’ll see you tomorrow’,
Or ‘I’ll pick you up at five’,
We’d moved on from that.
Progressed to ‘I’ll see you next month’,
Or ‘Phone me when you wanna come home’,
And although I know they’re still there,
Just a little bit further away than usual,
I still have this gapping hole in my chest.
This black hole that is trying to make me collapse in on myself.
This wound that wont heal,
Until my mum makes me a cup of tea,
Until my brother tells me to shut up,
Until I see my little nephew running towards me with arms open wide,
Until I hear my step mum laugh at something ridiculous I’d done when I was drunk,
Until my dad calls me ‘Lou’.
That’s when I’ll be okay,
When I’ll know that everything’s going to be alright,
That when I’ll know that I’m home. 

Day One, Well I’m Going To Try…

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Day One: Your current relationship. If single, discuss being single. 

Nothing is perfect. Life is messy. Relationships are complex. Outcomes are uncertain. People are irrational.” – Hugh Mackay.

I am single, have been for about 2 years now. I haven’t been in a relationship since my ex really screwed me over. But I’m not bitter. Nope, not at all. I don’t enjoy nor dislike being single because I don’t think your life changes drastically either way. When you’re in a relationship, you should’t be expected to dress up every day and look your best, you shouldn’t have to run everything past them before you do it, you shouldn’t have to feel like you have to be with them every second or feel like you have to please them. This in my opinion is much like not being in a relationship, there is no one to dress up for, consult or anyone to please. Your happiness come first and if you find someone to be happy with, then thats great, but there shouldn’t be this massive divide on how one is expected to feel depending on whether they are in a relationship or not. When I find someone that make me happy, I will be with them for that reason, not to make him happy and most certainly not so that I conform to this stereotype that people in relationships are happier, wheres the love in that? 

So This Is Happening…

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.” – Ayn Rand.

Its happened! Im just about finishing my fourth week at Uni! There’s been ups and downs, just like I knew there would be, but I don’t care because I’m here. The funny thing about packing up and moving away, is that after a while, you don’t feel like you’ve left anymore. This is my home now. This is where my life is and shall continue to be for the next three years of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got homesick a few times, of course, everyone does. But theres just something about it that already feels a little like home. 

Its hard too, at times, much harder than I thought it would be. But then again, we’re not kids anymore. We can’t be spoon fed the right information. We have to do it on our own. And I kinda like that. Its like I craved independence and I didn’t even know it! But it’s here, this is happening. Every morning, I still wake up and pinch myself because every day is like the start of the rest my life. This has happened, and I need to be ready for everything thats thrown my way.